evening nova

As a waitress, a job I loved by the way, it was sometimes difficult to meet everyone’s demands. Not because I had traditional tables but because, during banquets, all food came out at once. Meaning everyone was waiting and the rushes came in waves. I never dropped a plate though, and yes, I’m proud of that. I was pretty good at estimating the capacity of what I could carry and when I wasn’t, someone was always there to help. We all looked out for each other because the work was shared equally anyway.

It’s a little bit different than a balancing act say…in the gym. If a gymnast is practicing and he or she is off, we watch them fall. Routine on the beam, that look of confidence and suddenly they’re on the mat. Unexpectedly. We hope for the best of course, but when we see the gymnast struggling there’s nothing to do but watch….fingers crossed from the bleachers.

In life if we’re close to others we, at times, may realize something is “off”. Of course not everyone is 100% well-intentioned and not all those of concern are “off”. Taking care not to offend, assistance can be offered sensibly. And for severe issues? Well, there’s always ongoing ethics debates about what can be done when others alert authorities over concern. I believe those with severe mental illness and caregivers need better direction guided by better policy, like outpatient therapy mandates, and you can read about that here: http://murphy.house.gov/uploads/Summary.pdf

Other times a person off-balance may actually be desperate or worse – at risk for violent behavior. Experts say there are some risk factors and predictors for violence, gun violence and so on. Personal and community support programs may assist in violence prevention and we should absolutely be focusing on violence prevention as a society.

There aren’t as many predictors for the rarer violence acts, however. The mass shootings and events designed to create extreme destruction. Because these leave lasting effects, often more memorable to a larger community, it is crucial to better examine these. It’s also crucial to do what we can to prevent them, even if there isn’t optimal understanding currently.

We don’t know enough about the brain and impulsivity. If I’ve read enough it seems as though these random acts with mass casualties are premeditated, the perpetrator(s) are filled with anger/hate and the violent act is a last resort. A feeling of desperation.

Because desperate people do desperate things, why as a community do we let anyone get to that point?

I know that communities often change permanently as a result of one mass casualty premeditated act. These acts have profound effects on our future, from increased stress and extra safety precautions to general distrust.

And I do believe that many are guarded with their personal lives, people and even memories that are special to them because “you never know”. It’s all those what-ifs that, for the most part, are planted by small issues throughout our lives. So when a big issue happens, like a premeditated violent act, sometimes the what-ifs swell beyond reason. It’s not unreasonable to become extra cautious but it is unreasonable to believe we can protect the future at all times, right?

More to the point though: it’s incredibly unreasonable to continue to watch as people are pushed to the point of desperation, of losing balance. We ought to run over and lighten their load, not sit back in the bleachers.

Of course better mental health outpatient care is critical but mental health issues are not always a factor in the mass-casualty premeditated acts of violence.

Hate and anger seem to be a factor though.

That hate, that anger can be confronted and dissipated with kindness, understanding and conversation….but also by acknowledging and alleviating personal concerns. When we’re internally balanced we unintentionally reflect it. The balance itself can be contagious. But I believe the right internal mindset of love and hope is also reflected and thus also contagious.

Also, children have a natural tendency to bond as they grow up together. They, for the most part, will naturally look out for each other. I do believe this remains throughout time, even as schoolchildren grow up and grow older. If you grow up together you will usually always have that bond. Bonds cannot shield one from desperation, though.

The importance of addressing personal issues to alleviate the feeling of desperation is so crucial that is needs to become ingrained in our local, national and global communities. Not just a weekday assistance office for Medicaid and unemployment that may or may not be accessible to people. Not just a “crisis hotline”, although those are important.

How about reminding those that were once schoolchildren (always looking out for one another) that the same priority for others applies to adults? If someone’s off-balance because of a job loss, a relationship issue or bills piling up, what can be done to alleviate that person’s stress before it becomes desperation? Programs need to identify better ways of alleviating these personal stressors and they should start by utilizing trusted community members to do thorough and comprehensive planning. Just as emotions run high in teens, and addressing isolation and desperation should always be a priority in high school, so it should for us as adults.

We’re not in bleachers watching a gymnast work his or her magic. Imagine looking down the street as you walk into work thinking “fingers crossed none of you are pushed off-balance and to the point of desperation today”!

Internal balance, which spreads externally, can be practiced throughout our lives as well. This is a great prevention strategy to counter desperation or guide during “off-balance” times.

If one is so filled with hate and anger that the very classmates they grew up with become their targets in a school shooting, then the desperation was missed. I remember Columbine and I remember not understanding how anyone could want to hurt their classmates. But I do remember being in high school, having a group of friends, emotions that ran with the territory, etc. So even though many teens may not fully understand how one could carry out an act of mass violence, almost all understand personal “trying times”. I don’t believe there is a downside to teaching children how to avoid desperation, how to ask for/offer help and what to focus on (perhaps a resilient memory) when times get tough.

There’s also no downside to modeling this behavior in the workplace and as we grow in adulthood.

In a hospital, when an error is caught before it does harm to the patient it is called a “near miss”. In an act of violence in society, the point of “near miss” has already reached the point of desperation. To maintain balance, we need to accept others’ offers to lighten the load. If someone is “carrying” all they can…..if they are “at capacity”, identify and alleviate the rest. That’s everyone’s responsibility.

There are a lot of suggestions and thoughts here, but one thing is for certain when it comes to communities and identifying someone who is struggling: let’s be great restaurant coworkers, not bleacher-goers at a gymnastic event.

In a private world where one may not be forthcoming, we can still counter desperation. Let’s start by letting those with the internal mindset of love and hope spread it.

It may even catch on like wildfire.

If we’re talking codes, we may as well talk about those we picked up long ago. They say learning a second language, or a musical instrument, is easier in childhood. So is the language we learn from our parents. We may believe time and again that we’re different from our parents only to hear ourselves sound like them as we grow older.

It doesn’t matter if your parents were teachers, small business owners, government contractors or even if you came from a police family.

And it just so happens I grew up in a police family.

Yes, we altered holiday schedules, but so do doctors and paramedics.

Yes, my Dad worked nights and rotating shifts, just like firefighters.

And he left and returned home with a uniform on, just like a USPS worker, electrician or any other uniformed professional. Yes, my friends and I just saw it as the norm.

So really there were only a couple of unique things about the situation. Outside of the excess police shows and detective games, the calls/response codes were easy to pick up: 10-4, 10-20, etc.

Like most other families, my dad was (and is!) my hero.

As I grew older and became more interested in health, I realized that all families, all workers, experience and deal with stress. I also realized, however, that chronic physical strain in other professions often leads to injuries and wear and tear that employers help manage.

That got me to thinking:

•  Do professionals in high stress jobs, like law enforcement, air traffic controllers, and first responders, effectively manage stress?
•  If chronic and repetitive issues (let’s say traumatic, emotional situations) cause wear and tear in non-physical forms, when will we have the ability to quantify and prevent it?

Because as we all know, there is no code for unspoken, chronic stress. No one in any profession will call out a code that they are experiencing PTSD. It’s not a detective drama that we enjoy weekly, taking in the mix of law, order and romance and then switching to late night comedy. It’s a real life mix of boring paperwork and immediate crises, and it is continuous.

I took a look at some articles and found interesting information on why some first responders and law enforcement experience PTSD and others don’t. Perhaps predictive analysis can assist in prevention of PTSD in law enforcement/first responders for the future. If regional cohorts would connect with academic medicine partners, assessments could be completed at start of hire and then at the annual physical.

By managing stress effectively, we could see physical complaints decrease. We’d also most likely see better community engagement, partnership and trust. I can’t think of a better time to consider initiatives like these, when pension plans are consistently being redrawn and society’s trust in law enforcement mirrors the unfortunate outcomes of selective bad decisions highlighted in media.

There are quite a number of published studies out there, particularly around law enforcement, first responders and stress. I thought it would be great to read the most current data around these tax-funded positions, employed to protect me, and studied most likely with tax-funded grant money. It was disappointing that I couldn’t analyze the data thoroughly unless I’d being willing to pay a ridiculous amount of cash.

All things considered, a great literature review of first responder/law enforcement and psychological wellbeing would cost me as much as a new bulletproof vest for an officer working in a town that won’t pay for one….

Anyway, it’s frustrating that the role between stress, cortisol and blood pressure in police officers isn’t data I can be privy to, especially because these professionals are employed by government to protect tax payers. And, because some in high stress professions seem to experience more PTSD symptoms than others, it sure is frustrating not to be able to access information on familial history or anxiety predispositions.

Sure, law enforcement administration can help in advocating for change agents and better analyses , if they have access to the information and recommendations. Knowing that tax-funded, high stress professionals will seek tertiary care sooner or later, why wouldn’t we want to help with prevention programs? Insurance carriers, medicine and these professional groups could even focus on the published work around preferred techniques reported by the responders themselves.

Ideally, both the 20,000+ first responder analysis and study on protective factors and PTSD would be available to the public, as it is the public who pays for and is protected by these professions.

Workplace injury compensation is best awarded when proven. Physical injuries are easier to prove, much easier to estimate in terms of cost and much more likely for the employer to build prevention strategies around. It does not make the case against managing emotional wellbeing, especially for high stress jobs. It only argues for better shaping and understanding of the data around psychological and emotional wellbeing.

I think about growing up, when my dad came home for dinner or would come in late at night and chat with my mom after we were “asleep”. I often wondered, on the days when he was sleeping (after working midnights), if it affected him. And then I think about the hundreds of thousands of others in high stress professions and situations just like him.

Is research doing the best it can on chronic conditions, both physically and psychologically, that result from these professions? Why should employees be protected when physically hurt, with OSHA and federal regulations supporting the system….but not one effective protection or safeguard for emotional wellbeing?

Identifying psychologically at-risk individuals throughout their career is as important as the annual physical, and it should be treated as such.

If I have to 10-9 this again and again, I will.

Not every police officer, firefighter or doctor is going to experience PTSD. Arguably, what happened in their previous life and their family genetics may be a great start in workplace wellness assessments. Without a better system to manage this, however, both the professions themselves and the professionals’ physical wellbeing continue to be in jeopardy.

The NIOSH and OSHA provisions, laws and regulations to protect workers from all kinds of hazards are obvious. The absent equality in psychological and emotional hazard protection is also very real and very unfortunate.

It’s as if law enforcement administration has called for help, and all workplace regulators and medical professionals have responded “10-22”.

No, it is not enough to have an EAP available. In professions like these, where culture and tradition have strongholds as deep as any roots can grow, programs need to be in place that provide assessments as to what is not being said. It is difficult to speak up and come forward when the stigma is in place regarding behavioral and mental health. It is even more difficult when your workplace culture expects you to be “tough”. There is no secret code to call for backup on mental health issues first responders experience themselves.

We are left to read between the lines.

At what point are we going to realize that comprehensive, structured and consistent stress prevention and management programs must be available in all first responder and law enforcement communities, not to mention all high-stress professions? When will we demand better protections and better medical attention to this issue?

Or will we wait until it’s a 10-42 for the officer’s career, having virtually ignored all preventive methods?

Finally, when will we prioritize the health of these professions, especially the ones we pay for to protect us, over the publisher’s right to the data?

To the healthcare professionals, government administration and journal/medicine publishers, I have one question for you in regards to acknowledging this issue:

10-4?

You know, there are quite of few of them: Analyses. Reports. Workgroups. Conferences. Consensus findings. All about the future of medical research and innovation, most backed by expertise.

This is a good thing. We always want to meet, work together and grow the platform!

With the risk of sounding harsh, it’s also a hindrance at times.

For instance, I know when I’m involved in familiar work, and especially if I’m under pressure, decisions come naturally. With bigger, intricate, often confusing machine-like issues, however, I’ve had to learn to limit my own analyses. It’s not because I want to shortchange myself on information gathering and data. It’s because we know that all too often, it is easier to remain indecisive while “analyzing”. Data can have limits to what it provides. Plus, data is often presented in various media with the same conclusions, and while it may be a badge for the media publisher, these duplications can be inefficient in information gathering.

So when I review analytical papers and summaries of conferences, I’d like to see more action and evaluation in periodic follow ups. We can’t get there without good decision making.

I think it’s time for us, collectively, to take a hard look at our collective decision making, especially when it comes to broad policies. When reports are submitted year after year by various expert groups, and some general similarities are obvious, why aren’t we just making policy decisions?

If we continue to look for the absolute perfect approach to intellectual property or open access for medical journals? We’re not going to find it.

Nothing is perfect in these fields, and everything has advantages and disadvantages.

So it’s time to start making decisions in the manner that we find in our other professions. Do we need to make split-second, police or military decisions? No. But do we need to analyze these policy proposals over and over again, as if we are a personal think tank? No. That’s insulting to the think tanks we’ve already employed to solve the issues at the best of their abilities.

We have answers and strategies.

We even have them globally.

Nothing is perfect. It’s time to make decisions like a pro, knowing that we are going to make the best decision we could at the time.

When we continue to be afraid to deal with disadvantages or unpopular career politics that result, we send the message that our fear is more important than progress. We also send the message that we’re willing to please no one instead of displeasing some at various times, and displeasing some is inevitable.

Make the decisions, deal with the unpopular shortcomings of the resulting policies, and continue to move forward. The best way to do this is together, just like when we pull our data from collective sources. Refrain from pointing fingers at post-decision criticism, and most importantly: stick together.

Remember that the name of the game is stronger and better medical research and innovation.

Honestly, I believe this is one of the best ways forward for medical research. I know we can do it, as long as we remain determined.

Being the curious little kitten that I am, I delved into a hot topic in healthcare today. It’s an issue debated with tenacity, agenda and often cleverly placed statistics (statistics and surveys that may or not be representative of the total population). But behind all the large, impressive wording designed to turn off the average reader is a trail that leads to a dark, unnerving forest.

I asked myself today: should I bother continuing down this path? Who will I cross as I head into this abyss?

But then I remembered my objective: to understand why, with billions of dollars at stake, the average American consumer can’t find plain language information on hospitals that get tax exempt status (over half of American hospitals are classified as “non-profit” and this amounts to quite a lot of dollars).

It’s an issue that many politicians and lawmakers also try to make sense of, and an issue that many healthcare execs turn to community support for when commencing advocacy.

And if you’re reading this and you’re in the healthcare field? You’re probably thinking “hey, we’ve all been there”. Hospitals and clinics provide uncompensated care, community initiatives, most likely medical teaching/education, and so on. We’ve experienced great care in these places, and we may have stories of the care we or others have provided to those less fortunate. Hospitals do wonderful things every day for people, and it’s great to reflect on that.

Something to keep in mind, though, when you read about how much “uncompensated care” is being provided: industry is setting the cost. So what is being touted is what the industry has set as the figure. Plus, “uncompensated” is not just what is provided in charitable care, but also bad debt.

But I digress.

Anyway, it always feels good when we support our community healthcare and hospital partners, because after all, they do quite a bit to lift and support the locals. They employ our friends and family, they provide personal care and positive experiences, and they most likely have strategic community partnership planning committees.

You know what, though? Lots of for-profit hospitals, healthcare, and other businesses also provide community benefit as well.

So curiosity got the better of me today. I turned to a couple of the main players that I knew I’d cross paths with in looking at this:

The American Hospital Association’s report on Tax Exemption Status (http://www.aha.org/content/14/ip-hosptaxexempt.pdf) does a great job of summarizing hospital concerns with changing tax exemption status:

• Donors and philanthropists rely on certain specifics to be able to provide donations that they can receive tax breaks for.
•  The IRS assumes a regulatory role in various oversight, and will increase this role if certain agendas are met in the future.
• As usual, I found myself questioning validity of surveys of opinions in reports when no specifics (how many people, background, geographic location, etc) were provided.

I also took a look at the trusted Congressional Budget Office’s 2006 Report on Non-profit Hospital Community Benefits (http://www.cbo.gov/sites/default/files/12-06-nonprofit.pdf) and a few thoughts came to mind.

• I was not surprised that the average difference in uncompensated care share between for profit and non-profit was at .5 percentage point.
• How could there not be a more specific, standardized criteria for what are charitable and community provisions?

I asked myself if there have been any opinions or articles written on making the majority of hospitals “for-profit classification”. Here’s a thought-provoking one .

• But really, with the complicated reimbursement and care issues that today’s healthcare faces, in addition to the fact that there is no functional complete “system” in place, how feasible is a complete overhaul of the tax code/requirements for American hospitals?

It is an easy argument to support our community partners whenever we are looking at reimbursement changes. But it is so important to look at policy and lawmakers analyses. They are tasked with the big picture. And even in California, the picture looks a lot bigger than what one or two stakeholder groups argue. Take a look: http://capitolweekly.net/non-profit-hospitals-status-raises-questions/

And, as we move forward in understanding IRS rules in the face of Affordable Care, we have to look at informative articles with a critical view:

• Does each hospital “community health needs assessment” (addressed in this article) partner with all local agencies, including public health, to remove redundancy in services? And even so, if “the most authoritative study to date estimates that hospitals apply less than 1 percent of their overall expenditures to community health improvement activities”, what is being done to standardize the criteria and get everyone on the same page?
• Instead of just reporting that non-profit hospitals make a lot of money, and they should pay their “fair share” (I’ve seen a lot of those articles!), can’t we better examine the issue in effort to compromise?

Overall, today’s deep dive brought a lot to surface in examining non-profit hospital status and the billions of dollars that surround it. It did not, however, provide me with plain language or even the addressing of this critical piece to the argument.

I guess when I think about the ever-constant issues around non-profit hospital and healthcare status, and those who argue with very obvious agendas, I act as if I was assisting someone who’s been overstimulated. I remove the clutter and noise. I remind myself that a community partner will always have my gratitude and personal support, and that doesn’t necessarily entitle a community partner to deeper pockets or overstretching their contribution. The leaders and teachers (outside of the classroom) in my life would advise me to analyze the economic big picture in regards to competition and quality, and how this relates to ensuring the best business climate possible.

And the friends who – in any situation – look out for my best interest? Well, as in any other case, they’d want to make sure I’m not being taken advantage of.

Just like I’d never want my community to be taken advantage of.

I know this was a long, business-focused post. I’m glad you stuck with me through the end.

Boy, am I glad I let curiosity get the better of me today! It’s time for this kitten to curl up and relax for awhile! Have a wonderful week!

In content and media, we’re inundated with categorical articles. There are this many lessons to share, that number of ways to succeed or fail, a certain metric to gauge achievement or a specific number of “types”. It helps us rethink our own situations and organize our thoughts and actions. Perhaps that’s why they are so popular.

I woke up this morning and figured I’d write about one of the ways I think about relationships.

I make the most mistakes of anyone I know, I try to admit them as best as possible and I work on it.

But we know in life that everyone else makes mistakes too.

Everyone disappoints. It’s part of human nature, because we expect others (especially those really close to us) to read our minds, to be as perfect as possible.

My Grandpa once shared with me that everyone, at some point or another, will disappoint. It will happen, and you will feel disappointed, because everyone is human. This is some of the best reflection I’ve received. It’s why we have to forgive easier, and it’s why one can’t be too hard on themselves (because he/she will inevitably disappoint the very ones he/she is trying so hard to be perfect for).

So there are then two types of people that fit into a world at any given point. Those that we remain connected to and those that we disconnect from.

Those that you love as friends (or more) may hurt or disappoint you, but you will and should remain connected. Disappointment and hurt are a part of life in these relationships. And yes, saying sorry does matter, despite what some old movie may tell us.

Most of the time we pretty much know who these people are in our lives. You already know you’re going to remain connected with them in some way should something happen. You forgive, you try to forget as much as is practical, and then everyone learns and moves on (maybe not always “together”, but not really completely separate in life, either).

The other type is the group of people that you respect as individuals, and you forgive their mistakes, but you don’t necessarily need to keep them in your life any longer. It’s time to disconnect, and whether that is because the relationship was never strong enough to begin with is debatable- but no longer an important part of the discussion. Wish them well, assure them the hurt isn’t too painful, and move on. Move on without them, and hopefully after a good lesson has been learned. There is no longer any reason to remain connected. It’s literally time to extend a hand on your home court and wish them well as they exit the game.

But the beauty of those connections that you can’t really separate from is that you end up calling a “truce”. You call the truce because you’re tired of the stress and stalemates, and because compromise is so much more productive than stonewalling. If you don’t believe me, time your next Monopoly game without trades.

Mostly, though, you call the truce because you just can’t wait to see them again, or be with them, or have fun again. It’s your own court, and they will always be a part of it anyway.

Life is incredibly short, and not really promised to anyone. Why in the world wouldn’t a truce be called for those that you already know in your heart you are not going to disconnect from, ever?

Besides, should anyone in this group of connections ever dare believe they aren’t enough, or the individual love isn’t there, who better to show them it will always be there than you?

When I reflect on how time flies, and the experiences along the way, I’m struck with appreciation of life advice given to me at earlier stages. Lately, I’ve come to realize that influential people in my life have either modeled or voiced guidance of comparable themes. It got me to thinking and questioning whether we choose alike people to influence and mentor us, or whether people of similar thought patterns gravitate toward mentoring and advising the same people.

Either way, recognizing and drawing from certain life advice is like identifying beauty. It is in the beholder. There are the classic features we all appreciate and the unique ones we each prefer. Here are a few examples of my favorites (#’s 2, 3 and 4 are classics for sure):

•  “Trust Your Gut.” Hands down, this is one of the most applied pieces of advice I’ve received. It’s something we innately have but, as we grow more secure in our surroundings and relationships, we’re taught to let our guard down. This advice is the “checks and balances” for that growth. It’s a healthy reminder that no matter where life takes us or who we meet, we should be attuned to that inner instinct. There have been times when I have been fully aware of my “gut instinct”, ignored it, and regretted that action. There has not been one time in my life where I’ve trusted my gut and I’ve regretted it. It is for this reason that I am so appreciative of the important influencers in my life that guided me to “trust my gut”.
• “When it’s important, don’t give up.” Not only does this encourage persistence and confidence, but it rightfully presents your passions. What’s a more natural strategy in communicating your passion than pursuing it no matter the circumstance? And on the topic of passion…..
• “Work Hard.” Speaks for itself, and was voiced by so many people I admire and respect. They may not have worked 24/7 on something they were passionate about, but they prioritized the needs of their families above themselves. Work hard for a living.
• “Love Unconditionally and Forgive.” This is particularly true of our friends and family. It is the reason why we are there for each other after all the really tough times. Everyone makes mistakes…..if we were perfect, life would be so boring, wouldn’t it? This may be some of the hardest life advice to follow, but it is also the most important and most rewarding.
• “Everyone in life is dealt a hand of cards. It’s about how you play them.” As tempting as it is to feel sorry for ourselves or down about situations, it’s so much better to remember perspective. Everyone in life has challenges, advantages and disadvantages. Know the cards you were dealt, be thankful for what you have, recognize your shortcomings, do your best to improve your situation and play your cards the best you can. Personally, this was a very meaningful conversation.

Guidance in the above form may not have been provoked, it may be clichéd and at times I’ve even been tempted to showcase my signature eye rolling talent. But the truth is that advice from trusted influencers and peers is cherished, especially when it resonates individually, over time, and is voiced by more than one person.

The beauty of life advice is in the beholder, and the above is just a partial compilation of my list (which I intend to continue to grow on this blog).

The balance between private and shared information is often not as much of a gray area as we believe it to be. Thus, rather than keep information heavily guarded, we should just learn to balance it better.

I know this because I am an intensely private person when it comes to my personal life, and I’ve seen benefits of freeing up a little of this intensity. It’s not really as dramatic as it initially seems when we share a little more about ourselves, especially knowing that most people don’t pay too much attention to others’ personal lives anyway.

It’s also not as dramatic as it may feel when we realize we’ve come across some private information that should stay private. Really, the only thing we need to do is respect that privacy. Basic information is only power to those who don’t feel powerful enough from community and/or peer respect.

 

If we can learn to effectively manage information in our personal lives, why not in professional arenas?

Just as the balance is often more black and white than it seems in regards to personal information, professional information management is often more black and white than we want to admit. There’s information that can and should be shared, and there’s information that can’t (legally, morally, etc). Knowing the difference is usually just a matter of education and/or experience. Practicing the difference is matter of integrity and trust.

Along the same lines though, it is often also a matter of acting upon lessons learned. The benefits of asking direct, personal questions after trust is established far outweigh indirect go-around information seeking (which harpoons trust and ignites suspicion). We know this, and yet we still see avoidance of direct communication and information disclosure in professional arenas across the spectrum. Many of these examples do not have to be gray areas, but they often are debated as such.

Between the constant questioning of the usual suspects (large corporations, government) or the newest sensationalized headline (think individual “cover ups”), we’re never really surprised anymore at intentional misinformation or new revelations. We’re also not surprised at the motives behind those doing the “uncovering”. It’s sad that we’re not surprised, that we’re accustomed to mistrust due to communication and the sensationalism that follows. It’s sad because it’s wrong, but also because every time an imbalance of information or miscommunication happens, it opens the door for a future full of issues.

When we witness or even contribute to intentional misdirection, poor communication and do not provide disclosure, it makes everyone involved so much more likely to mistrust even those with the best of intentions. It’s good to question things. It’s not so good to question things repeatedly, then refuse to believe something proven true. Think about well-intentioned private and public programs, government assistance and great medical science that all take a hit from past problems with information. These past issues were not “gray areas”. They were opportunities to be open, sharing and direct, and when the opportunities were missed, distrust and sensationalism were bred.

One of the best things anyone can do for the future is model honest, open communication and information sharing in their profession alongside modeling the respect of private information. Usually (not always, but usually) we know the difference between the two. Growth, healthy competition and effective collaboration are the future, and they depend on understanding the balance and walking the walk. We can’t walk the walk if we’re always fenced in.

 

If you’re going to commit to anything worthwhile, do it with all your heart. That’s what they say, at least.

As I’ve seen time and time again, however, people lose interest in professional and personal goals. Distractions, work, life events and perhaps changing directions are reasons, but often there’s no real clear answer as to why we’ve lost sight of those worthwhile goals. Is it because we didn’t work toward them with all our heart?

As if they belong on a primetime detective drama, those goals just seem to vanish, don’t they? We’re not sure what exactly stole them, we don’t know whodunit, and we definitely don’t have an exact plan for bringing them back. We may not even be sure who to assign to the case.

I know I at times have started out in pursuit of a goal and all stepping stones to achieve it, and somewhere along the way I got distracted with life. And many of these can be categorized as “worthwhile”. But on the days when I feel discouraged about this, I think about the matters of the heart. These are the missions I’ve always been pursuing, the ones that I refuse to give up on. They may have a slight presence on a profile or resume, but ultimately, they reside in my heart. They’ve been in my heart all along (even if I’ve been attentive elsewhere in the short term), and thus that old saying is unnecessary.

I’d argue that matters of the heart are very much different than a “worthwhile commitment”, and that even life events do not change the pursuit of them. It’s important to identify which professional and personal goals are matters of the heart, and which ones would be nice to have. It’s important because it’s one of the keys to the feeling of success, and if you observe people who have achieved success in whatever way you define it, you will see they’ve distinguished between the two.

I don’t know one person that has achieved everything they’ve wanted to in life and can say with all certainty they have no goals, no bucket list and no more professional aspirations. But many prioritize their aspirations.

I do, too. Why? Because I know that no matter what happens in life and where it takes me, there are a couple objectives and plans I cannot lose sight of. People, parties, travel, family events and new friends may come and go, but matters of the heart don’t. That’s why we chart our courses. As long as the ship is steered in the right direction (and we’re all Captains of our own ships), it can only be rocked as much as I allow it to be. And if I find my ship is having a hard time weathering the storm? Well, it helps to be prepared, and my advice for anyone reading this is always know your own ship and which direction you’re steering it, and that way you can plan for a lot of possible storms.

So there are a lot of goals I have set, and many would be nice to have. But there are a very select few that are matters of the heart, and those I will never stop pursuing as I continue on. They are the “Star” that I’m traveling to, however long it takes to get there. I’d encourage everyone to identify their own, because sooner or later discouragement may show up, and we’ll need to remind ourselves that we haven’t lost what’s in our heart…even if we didn’t get the nice to have goal. We’ll probably need help from those we trust professionally and personally, and we’ll find ourselves helping others too. It’s just as rewarding to be a shipmate for someone on their course as it is to be the Captain on your own.

We never find our matters of the heart have vanished, just as I’ve never seen a detective drama set on the High Seas. That’s why I identify the goals that are nice to have as I sail along with and for the matters of the heart.

It’s probably time I familiarize myself with the Navigation Rules of boating….and maybe look into a Marine GPS system.

 

 

 

 

Welcome to this blog and thank you for checking it out. As I continue to learn everyday, I hope to share some takeaways and insight here. It’s a great way to start the conversations! See you soon…..