In content and media, we’re inundated with categorical articles. There are this many lessons to share, that number of ways to succeed or fail, a certain metric to gauge achievement or a specific number of “types”. It helps us rethink our own situations and organize our thoughts and actions. Perhaps that’s why they are so popular.

I woke up this morning and figured I’d write about one of the ways I think about relationships.

I make the most mistakes of anyone I know, I try to admit them as best as possible and I work on it.

But we know in life that everyone else makes mistakes too.

Everyone disappoints. It’s part of human nature, because we expect others (especially those really close to us) to read our minds, to be as perfect as possible.

My Grandpa once shared with me that everyone, at some point or another, will disappoint. It will happen, and you will feel disappointed, because everyone is human. This is some of the best reflection I’ve received. It’s why we have to forgive easier, and it’s why one can’t be too hard on themselves (because he/she will inevitably disappoint the very ones he/she is trying so hard to be perfect for).

So there are then two types of people that fit into a world at any given point. Those that we remain connected to and those that we disconnect from.

Those that you love as friends (or more) may hurt or disappoint you, but you will and should remain connected. Disappointment and hurt are a part of life in these relationships. And yes, saying sorry does matter, despite what some old movie may tell us.

Most of the time we pretty much know who these people are in our lives. You already know you’re going to remain connected with them in some way should something happen. You forgive, you try to forget as much as is practical, and then everyone learns and moves on (maybe not always “together”, but not really completely separate in life, either).

The other type is the group of people that you respect as individuals, and you forgive their mistakes, but you don’t necessarily need to keep them in your life any longer. It’s time to disconnect, and whether that is because the relationship was never strong enough to begin with is debatable- but no longer an important part of the discussion. Wish them well, assure them the hurt isn’t too painful, and move on. Move on without them, and hopefully after a good lesson has been learned. There is no longer any reason to remain connected. It’s literally time to extend a hand on your home court and wish them well as they exit the game.

But the beauty of those connections that you can’t really separate from is that you end up calling a “truce”. You call the truce because you’re tired of the stress and stalemates, and because compromise is so much more productive than stonewalling. If you don’t believe me, time your next Monopoly game without trades.

Mostly, though, you call the truce because you just can’t wait to see them again, or be with them, or have fun again. It’s your own court, and they will always be a part of it anyway.

Life is incredibly short, and not really promised to anyone. Why in the world wouldn’t a truce be called for those that you already know in your heart you are not going to disconnect from, ever?

Besides, should anyone in this group of connections ever dare believe they aren’t enough, or the individual love isn’t there, who better to show them it will always be there than you?